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text;

[Backdated to this backdated SITUATION, a text message chimes shyly into Murphy's inbox.]

Good afternoon

I am sorry to bother you and hope I'm not offending

[He is really a very inoffensive and polite soulless person, even if maybe these manners have a more self-serving bent now than they did before.]

But there's an absolutely enormous mound of shit, probably not human, that appeared in front of my door recently

Does your department offer assistance with this sort of thing?

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